On love…

I see, witness, and feel love in such a myriad of ways. And the older I get the more I realize how very varied and complicated this very simple word can be. I will witness it in the store, between friends. Watching one friend surprise another by buying her a gift and seeing the recipient tearing up. And knowing it’s not just the gift but the message behind it, the love of her friend. I have many people coming in looking for gifts. Anxious and careful to buy the right thing. Not so much for the significance of the monetary value, but to let this person know that they have taken the effort to remember their favorite stone or color or vibe. And that gift is love.

In my own life and probably because of the time to think that the past year has given us all, I see that love cannot so neatly be put into categories. It is too nuanced and there will never be enough boxes to contain it.

There is an understanding of love in romance and friendship that I have only arrived at in recent years. That there are those in your life that love you unconditionally and who show it. But also realizing that there are other versions of love that aren’t as simple. And these can apply to friends and lovers. People who use the language of love but aren’t able to fully follow up with their actions. Some who are not emotive, but whose actions say it all. There are those who may not be a constant presence in one’s life but who will suddenly appear when you need them most and gift you their support and care. And I can go on and on, but most importantly it is the understanding that a person is doing the best that they can. What they are capable of in that particular time in their lives. And it depends on the recipient, it depends on us, if it is enough or not.

I value love now like nothing else. I realize, now that I’m older, that love isn’t multiplied by the number of people in our lives but the people themselves. Be it two or twenty. I am able to feel a version of love for a customer or stranger that I meet for ten minutes. Love for a new friend that I have only known for a few months or for many years. I have the love for my family that is the foundation of my existence. I carry the love of past lovers, always in my heart. I have a love for the good in humanity around me that saves me from being drowned by the bad. But most importantly I am grateful that my heart is open enough to be able to love and be lifted by it.

Always with love,

Ruth
xox